#suicide

I lay here,
Pouring crimson regret.
I'm crying,
Bleeding,
Screaming.
Day after day,
More lies about a world,
That never was, and never will be.
You don't know how you betrayed me.
Without my mask, where will I hide? 
I can't find myself,
Lost in the lie.
I know the truth now,
I know who you are.
I don't love you anymore.
It never was and never will be,
You're not real and you can't save me.
So goodbye, cruel world!
I greet my suicide, my Savior.


Scripture says this:

What shall we say then? Shall we continue still in sin, so that grace may abound? God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live yet therein? Know ye not, that all we which have been baptized into Jesus Christ, have been baptized into his death? We are buried then with him by baptism into his death, that like as Christ was raised up from the dead to the glory of the Father, so we also should walk in newness of life. For if we be planted with him to the similitude of his death, even so shall we be to the similitude of his resurrection. Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin, for he that is dead, is freed from sin. Wherefore, if we be dead with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with him. Knowing that Christ being raised from the dead, dieth no more: death hate no more dominion over him. For in that he died, he died once to sin: but in that he liveth, he liveth to God. Likewise think ye also, that ye are dead to sin, but are alive to God in Jesus Christ our Lord. Let not sin reign therefore in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof: Neither give ye your members, as weapons of unrighteousness unto sin: but give yourselves unto God, as they that are alive from the dead, and give your members as weapons of righteousness unto God. For Sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace. What then? shall we sin, because we are not under the law, but under grace? God forbid.  Know ye not, that to whomsoever ye give yourselves as servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey, whether it be of sin unto death, or of obedience unto righteousness? But God be thanked, that ye have been the servants of sin, but ye have obeyed from the heart unto the form of the doctrine, whereunto ye were delivered. Being then made free from sin, ye are made the servants of righteousness. I speak after the manner of man, because of the infirmity of your flesh: for as ye have given your own members servants to uncleanness and to iniquity, to commit iniquity, so now give your members servants unto righteousness in holiness. For when ye were the servants of sin, ye were freed from righteousness. What fruit had ye then in those things, whereof ye are now ashamed? For the end of those things is death. But now, being freed from sin, and made servants unto God, ye have your fruit in holiness, and the end, everlasting life. For the wages of sin is death: but the gift of God is eternal life, through Jesus Christ our Lord. ~Romans 6


You know, some scriptures you study because you don't understand them. Some scriptures you take to heart. And then, there are some scriptures that pierce your heart so that the only word you can think for the longest time is, "wow".


He that taketh not his cross, and followeth not after me, is not worthy of me. He that will find his life, shall lose it. And he that loseth his life for my sake, shall find it. ~Matthew 10: 38-39


When you die, you lose absolutely everything. That is why we are to lose our life for the sake of the gospel. Lose your life, for God's sake!


When I get to heaven, there will be many things in my life that God will not be pleased with. There will be one thing he is pleased with, and that is that his son Jesus the Christ lives in me, and that through Christ I am dead to the law, dead to sin. I wish I could say, I will sin no more. I know I will fail, I know I will fall, I know I will sin again. But I am dead to sin.

My suicide to sin is Christ, and Christ living in me I can say, "Behold I choose to die to myself, to die to my sins, to die to the world, and I am alive with Christ forevermore!"

All of the sinful pleasures and temptations of this world are fleeting, they're lies. Lies that seperate us from Christ. That's what I mean by a cruel world...your sins will stab you in the back. That is why we must give up everything in this world. Everything. All of it. Out the window, kaput. Gone.

The wages of sin is death. So you can live for sin, and then die and be forever lost. Or you can die to sin, and live for Christ. Our Lord has said that he who would save his life, must lose it.

We have to lay down our lives for Christ, I have to lay down my life for Christ. I must die in service to him.

Christ needs to be the center, 100% of our focus as Christians. I want him to be 100% of mine.




“So when the devil throws your sins in your face and declares that you deserve death and hell, tell him this: "I admit that I deserve death and hell, what of it? For I know One who suffered and made satisfaction on my behalf. His name is Jesus Christ, Son of God, and where He is there I shall be also! ~Martin Luther

Bring me to life...

You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. ~Jeremiah 29:13


Live. There is a difference between being alive and living, and God calls us to live a life set apart for him. A vigorous and fruitful life with no time wasted.


Seek the Lord while he may be found, call upon Him while he is near. Isaiah 55:6


Run. Run for your life. Run for your Lord. Run from the sins of this world, run towards the cross. Run as fast as you can, as hard as you can, just run. Run to him.


I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently will find me. ~Proverbs 8:17


We must actively seek God, and it's a theme that appears all throughout the Bible. God calls us to constantly and actively seek him in everything that we do, forever advancing in our relationship with him.

Without a soul, my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold. 
Until you find it there and lead it back home. 
Frozen in time, without your touch, without your love.
Only you are the life among the dead.
I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems, I've got to open my eyes to everything.
Without a heart, without a voice, without a soul,
Don't let me die here.
Bring me to life. 
Wake me up inside. 
Wake me up inside. 
Call my name and save me from the dark.
Bid my blood to run,
Before I come undone. 
Save me from the nothing I've become. 

We cannot sit back and be apathetic about living for Christ, it has to be active, it has to be cognitive. We must live for him. We must run for him.

Scripture says it best:

But from there you will seek the Lord your God and you will find him, if you search after him with all your heart and with all your soul. ~Deuteronomy 4:29


Ask, and it will be given to you. Seek, and you will find. Knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. ~Matthew 7: 7-8


We must seek God to find him.

Love will carry you...

Am I at the point of no improvement? 
What of the death I still dwell in?
I try to excel, but I feel no movement. 
Can I be free of this unreleasable sin?
Never underestimate my Jesus,
You're telling me that there's no hope, I'm telling you you're wrong.
Never underestimate my Jesus,
When the world around you crumbles, He will be strong. 


Gah, life can be so difficult sometimes, as I've been finishing up this quarter at college especially. So many things have been afflicting me on all sides, and then in my scripture reading today I found this...

Yet He is my strength and my salvation, and my defense, therefore I shall not be moved. ~Psalm 62:2

 The Lord is my strength and salvation, what am I concerned with down here? Cannot the God of all creation conquer it? Of course he can!

Silly me...everything that has been happening in my life, everything I've been upset or worried over, it all counts as nothing in comparison to the importance of Christ. Absolutely nothing.

Behold the fowls of the heaven, for they sow not, neither reap, nor carry into the barns, yet your heavenly father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they? ~Matthew 6:26


This principle is one that I keep having to learn, and I write it here for everyone to see:

A life spent worrying over the things of this world is a wasted life, for you cannot glorify God when you are concentrated on yourself.  Don't waste your life, live for God, and for him alone. 


He will take care of you, He will take care of me, and I don't want to waste one more minute, one more second worrying, I want all of my time to be spent glorifying Him.

Lift me up Lord, turn my ashes into flames that burn for you.



I searched for love,
When the night came,
And it closed in.
I was alone,
But you found me,
Where I was hiding. 
Now i'll never ever be the same,
It was the sweetest voice that called my name, 
Saying, you're not alone,
For I am here. 
Let me wipe away your every fear.
My love, I've never left your side,
I have seen you through the darkest night.
I'm the one who's loved you all your life
Faithful and True, forever.
My love will carry you. 








SDG

Rock of ages, cleft for me...

What love is this, that love should die?
Now I am his, and he is mine. 
What a love came down to rescue me? 
Where I was bound he set me free. 
I don't need a new truth, all I need is more of you.
To the cross I will run for all my Savior has done. 
I will stay here, never move on. 
No other moment in time, So glorious, so divine. 
Nothing in my hands I bring, simply to thy cross I cling. 
I will stay here, never move on.

#Good things happen to bad people

I believe in you

I'll give up everything just to find you

I have to be with you

To live

To breathe

You're taking over me

"The Kingdom of Heaven is like unto a treasure, hid in the field, which when a man hath found, he hides it, and for joy thereof departs, sells all that he hath, and buys the field. Again, the kingdom of Heaven is like to a merchant man that seeketh good pearls, Who having found a pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had and bought it." ~Matthew 13: 44-46

The way that
You move me

Takes me far away

I seek no escape

I'm overtaken

By the way that you deliver me

There's no place I'd rather be

Without you I'm incomplete

It's hopeless

You consume me

Holy, Devoted,

I immerse myself in you

Drowning in the thought of you

Taken by the things you do

Doesn't matter what I lose

I'm yours

You consume me

Like a burning flame, running through my veins

"Jesus then said to his disciples, If any man will follow me, let him forsake himself: take up his cross, and follow me. For whosoever shall save his life shall lose it: and whosoever shall lose his life for my sake, shall find it. For what shall it profit a man though he should win the whole world, if he lose his own soul? Or what shall a man give for recompense of his soul?  ~Matthew 16:24-26

Sometimes, I don't get what I want. I will have ideas about how things should be, and they don't turn out that way. I can't help but wonder why this bad stuff keeps happening to me. Every time this happens though, I get hit with the realization of how blessed I really am. I'm a Christian! Christ has called me to be with him forever and ever!

All my righteousness is as dirty rags, I look absolutely filthy in the sight of God. The living dead-without Christ. With Christ you change from this creature abandoned to be cast away from God for all eternity, into a servant of that same God. So Christ offers a hand out of the pit, and says that if we are to follow him we are to forsake ourselves. Forsake everything that we want.

It's worth it, for Jesus is the great treasure, the kingdom of heaven. When I think of how utterly dead I am without Christ and how ugly I must look in the sight of God, I'm amazed that God would choose me. Me? Of all people? Christ is the good pearl, and good things certainly happen to bad people; because i'm a bad person.

It's worth it. It's totally worth it. I pray I can show the fruits of the spirit, for faith without works is dead. Don't make the mistake of thinking I am saved by works, because frankly I'm not. Nobody is. For every good work I have given, ten evil works have been done. True Christians will show their faith in their life, not be justified by it.

I want to show that Christ lives in me. I give up everything I have, everything I want, I trust it all to Christ. I lay it on the altar.

Everything is yours Lord, I am facedown on the ground, ready to do your will and to follow your desires. My Lord, My Captain, My King, My God,

My Savior.

Oh, the deep deep love of Jesus
Vast unmeasured, boundless free

Rolling as a mighty ocean

In it's fullness over me

Underneath me

All around me

Is the current of thy love

Leading onward

Leading homeward

To thy glorious rest above